Bitterness – Part III: bitterness & resentment

Remember our earlier definition of bitterness, part of it read –
• Showing or caused by strong unrelenting hostility or resentment (The Collins Concise Dictionary)

Notice that word – unrelenting. Bitterness and resentment can be unrelenting, especially towards people that you think may have wronged you in some way. You become hostile towards them. Let me tell you – love and resentment cannot co-exist. You cannot love someone you resent and are hostile too. It cannot be done.

So what is resentment? According to the dictionary site, www.m-w.com, it is a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.

This is feeling that someone owes you something.

Notice again that the dictionary uses the word "persistent" in defining resentment. We have unrelenting, and now persistence too. This tells me that bitterness and resentment are in for the long run.

Hebrews 12:15 (Amp)
Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it–

Notice here how the Bible draws a relationship with Bitterness and resentment. It also likens it to hatred. Bitterness and resentment make you hostile to people, you feel persistent ill will at someone. You become angry and indignant. You definitely don’t feel pleased. As these settle in for the long run – it all leads to hate (and we know, again for the Star Wars fans, that hate leads to the dark side).

Hatred is the exact opposite of Love. It is the exact opposite of God and the exact opposite of what we are to feel towards people.

Don’t get me wrong, your complaint may be legitimate against that person, event or even God. I don’t know what you have been through, and I am not making light of it – but read the above verse again.

The Bible tells us that we should look out for one another to make sure that you don’t fall out of grace so that the root of resentment starts to grow in you.

I have a command from God to look out for you.

Notice here that bitterness comes from failing to secure God’s grace in your life. When that happens, the root of bitterness grows in you. You become resentful of God and other people and eventually – this causes trouble and torment.

Here’s the thing – no good can come out of being bitter. It is more than possible for a believer to become bitter, otherwise this verse in Hebrews wouldn’t tell us to look out for it. All it will do is cause trouble and torment in your life. Does your life have lots of troubles? Do you feel tormented in life? Then let go of any bitterness and resentment. If you don’t – you become defiled and contaminated.

Notice also that bitterness has a root. Roots start small, they are unseen and they grow until they affect everything and it becomes a nightmare trying to dig it out.

It is always better to deal with bitterness in the early stages than when it becomes a problem.

Bitterness is described as a root that grows into a poisonous plant. Bitterness also spreads and infects others. They either catch the critical and grouching spirit from the bitter people, or they decide to avoid their company. And, of course, the rejection caused by the bitterness leads to the people concerned feeling even more bitter, and so the cycle continues.

Being resentful and bitter stops you being fruitful in life.

Mark 4:17
And they have no real root in themselves, and so they endure for a little while; then when trouble or persecution arises on account of the Word, they immediately are offended (become displeased, indignant, resentful) and they stumble and fall away.

A happy marriage is void of resentment

Col 3:19
19Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.

Fatherhood should be void of resentment

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.

It is clear in the Bible that we should live free of Bitterness and guard against it affecting our hearts and our families. If we want to avoid troubles and torments in life, if we want unity in our families – with our spouse, with our kids, if we want the love of God to reach people around us, if we want the Word of God to bear fruit in our lives – we have to keep ourselves free from all bitterness and resentment.

No ifs. No buts. No excuses, regardless of their legitimacy – just get rid of it at the root. Period.